This is the Fifth Decree of the Minister of Assholery appointing official capacity of the order within all the Realm and Domains of Assaholics Anonymous. By Decree of the Minister of Assholery:

~Whereas it has come to our attention that the honor of Captain Asshole has been bestowed on Maggie Fitzer by her friends;                

On behalf of the Minister of Assholery and all of us at Assaholics Anonymous we wish you a very happy, and very funny 2024.