The 5th Decree of the Minister of Assholery

TO: The Honorable Captain Asshole – Maggie Fitzer

FR: The Minister of Assholery – Assaholics Anonymous

RE: The 5^th Decree of the Minister of Assholery

This is the Fifth Decree of the Minister of Assholery appointing official capacity of the order within all the Realm and Domains of Assaholics Anonymous. By Decree of the Minister of Assholery:

~Whereas it has come to our attention that the honor of Captain Asshole has been bestowed on Maggie Fitzer by her friends;                                                                                                        ~Whereas it is the Captain’s desire to spread Assholery and laughter throughout the land in all time that remains;                                                                                                                                 ~Whereas the Honorable Captain Asshole has been nominated by Julie Symack for Membership in our very esteemed organization;                                                                             And whereas their goal is simply to make shit fun;   

It is therefore the 5^th Decree of the Minister of Assholery that Captain Asshole – Maggie Fitzer be granted official membership to Assaholics Anonymous with the ability to appoint Official Certified and ASSociate Memberships to all she deems worthy;

It is further decreed she will be ASSisted by Julie Symack, herewith the official ASSistant Captain Asshole;

This shall be a global appointment and the pair has been granted rights to record their Assholery and share on all spaces including TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and X;

Further & Finally, this appointment and decree will be noted for all to see for all time as an official decree as well as by Member Updates on our home turf: AssaholicsAnonyhmous.org

Ass it is declared and written this day by the Minister of Assholery, Seventh of July, 2024, so it shall be.