🚀 Your Help is Needed Before We Show the Public - Sneak Peek: Our Assa

by The Minister of Assholery
September 04, 2023
4 min read

Hey there

I’ve got some big news to drop and seek your help and am willing to give you a couple of shillings for your help. But first, I want to give a shoutout to each and every one of you on Labor Day. You’re all absolutely incredible!

Now, let’s dive you all into your good stuff. 🎉

First off, the exciting news - it’s officially official! Thanks to some of our fantastic Members and the brilliant Advisors to the Minister of Assholery (we heart you ❤️), we’ve given birth to our very own Assaholics Anonymous home. Yep, we’ve moved in and are now decorating.

Way back in June, when this crazy idea started, we turned our “Funny Shtuff” website into a makeshift Assaholics Anonymous home. Why? Well, we wanted to know if you were as legit about wanting this BEFORE I invested a lot of money in it. (I may be an Asshole, but I ain’t a dumbass! 🤣 😂)

But guess what? You proved it. Big time.

You snatched up memberships, cards, and certificates like they were going out of style.
Over 10,000 of you hopped on the Assaholics Anonymous TikTok train.
100+ new members joined the ranks in just a month.
Dozens of you told me exactly what products you wanted to see.
Nearly a dozen of you became our AmbASSadors through our fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants-as-we-are-building-it Affiliate Marketing Program.
And a bunch of you helped shape our vision over the summer.

You showed not only your enthusiasm but your willingness to help. So, in August, I hired a crack team (As in skill, not drugs. Ha) to build us a spanking new online space, a real home to celebrate our Assholery together.

And now, I’m calling on you, my incredible members, for a little favor. Here’s a sneak peek of our shiny new website (still a work in progress, mind you).

[Private Member Only Preview Link Here]

Before we unveil it to the world next week, I’d love your advice, opinions, and help with a few things.

As for pay, give us a little help this week and you get $5.00. It will be in the form of store credit. If you want to sign up for that, click here. [Private Member Only Link] and it will automatically register you.

And I need ten to twenty of you to sign up to give me a lot of help this week, and it will be a $10.00 Amazon Gift Card (Or store credit if you prefer.) just click here [Private Member Only Link] for this and it will automatically let me know.

And if you don’t want any more “We need your help” emails, just click here to let me know and I will take you off this Member Only Help Segment [Private Member Only Link].

What kind of help am I talking about, you ask? Well, you could rank the top five favorite products you think we should promote or choose the best design for a shirt or mug. Or we might ponder if we should go all out with shirts, mugs, hats, or just one of them for that design. And we need someone to check out how the flow is on our personalized products like this shirt for your name and picture? Or this Your Personalized Membership Certificate Tees and Hoodies – Assaholics Anonymous. Is the selection process clear and easy enough for both? Would it be easy enough for most people to understand? Does it make sense? (If you looked and have an opinion, hit reply plllllleeeeease and share your thoughts! I beggest’ thou.) And of course, proofreading. YOU are our spellcheck if you are a grammar type.

[And for bonus points, my friend Emily went a little wild and created 16 versions of one design. [Private Member Only Link] Sixteen! Which one or two do you think are the cream of the crop? Hit reply and share your opinion.]

And a reminder, the Charter Member discounts will end mid-month and we will be going back to our regular prices. (Gotta pay for the site now, hahaha.) Good news/ bad news. The bad news is this means memberships will go back to $9.95. Good news is this also means the Certified AmbASSadors will get $5 of that for every new member they bring in during Sept.

That’s the scoop for now. Let me know what you think and keep spreading the laughter!

Da’ Min

Partial List of Updates and Roadmap:

Added 30+ new products and planning to add 10+ per week.
Introduced personalization options.
Revamped collection organization for easier navigation.
Crafted a new membership-only page with exclusive updates (still in progress).
Gave all our Member Communication tools a makeover.
Set up shop on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter…er… I mean X, and brand-new Threads with zero followers (yet). If you haven’t followed us on these platforms yet, please just click the links and join the party. Thanks!
I had some epic chats with some of the planet’s coolest people, some of YOU.
Launched our “Review” section so you can show off your beautiful mug (Face, not goblet) and leave hilarious reviews.

PS If the link has vanished into the digital abyss for you, no worries. Just hit reply, and I’ll hook you up with a fresh one.

PPS Here’s a little giggle for you: Check out our new Guru graphic above. It’s like holistic medicine, but better! 😄