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As seen in the TikTok video of people trying to steal it from me in Key West because it is so cool and rare. F'real! Straight from the Minister of Assholery of Assaholics Anonymous, this is the OFFICIAL Plastic Certified Asshole Card you can...

This is a Global Recognition for Elite Royal Assholes If you have more money than brains, you can be the first person in the world to buy one of these for lifelong global bragging rights as the FIRST TRULY CERTIFIED...

Get this First With Free ! Makes Anyone Funny With Just 5 Words: "Do You Take This Card?" The Ultimate VIP Gold Card: Guaranteed to Make the World Laugh WITH You!  Made in America, this is the original product I...

For those who still think laughter is a gift worth giving, this is perfect for the Office "Legends," Golf buddies, Family Smart Asses or Dumbasses, that one friend who has earned it, and obviously, yourself. Exclusive Limited Edition - While They Last:...

Grrrrrrr. You know what I'm talking about, you KNOW why I made this, and you KNOW where they can stick this card!   For this special kind of Asshole, the Minister of Assholery vests YOU with POWERS to let that...

You know that Assaholic, that one in denial? The one who is always blabbing and talking out of their rectal orifice? (ESPECIALLY those on the other political side!) As a card-carrying certified member of Assaholics Anonymous you are vested with...

The Perfect Unique Funny Gift 🎁   If being or calling one a "Certified Asshole" is too strong, try the slightly more subtle "Certified Assaholic." You can now belong, or gift it to someone who should belong. This is the same...

Hand Out The Asshole Version People often struggle to express their inner "assholery" in a fun and memorable way. They want a unique and personalized card that celebrates their individuality and leaves a lasting impression and contact info, either personal...