If you have more money than brains, you can be the first person in the world to buy one of these for lifelong global bragging rights as the FIRST TRULY CERTIFIED ROYAL ASSHOLE IN THE WORLD?
Want to show off that extra money you got? Woop, here it is. Woop, here it is!
We created this for anybody out there who gets the joke, AND who has more money than they know what to do with, as some of you Assholes certainly do.
If you have a 300 ft yacht? This is for you.
If you have a private jet? This is for you?
If you have a Rolls-Royce Droptail, Pininfarina Battista, Gordon Murray T.50, Koenigsegg Jesko Absolut, Pagani Huayra Codalunga, Bugatti Mistral, BYD Yangwang U9 Xtreme, 1955 Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR, Uhlenhaut Coup, Ferrari 250 GTO, Aston Martin Valkyrie Spider, Rimac Nevera R2026, McLaren W1, Koenigsegg Gemera, Gordon Murray T.33, or Ferrari SF90 XX? This is for you!
Named Mr. Beast?
Or are you married to a person with any of the above? This is for them, the one who has everything, except THIS!
Why? Because if you have any of that shit, there are definitely people who think you are an Asshole.
Royal Assholes are the highest level of Assholery and bad-assery, with powers spanning the globe! World Power baby, World Power.
(To make this shit really, really, exclusive, we are limiting Royal Assholes to 1 per nation, sorry other Assholes.***)
Exclusivity Baby! That's why it is so friggin' expensive.
That, and because there are people out there with a shitload of money who demand nothing but the best… only fucking ROYALTY works for them. Then fucking ROYALTY, we will give them.
We may or may not have inhaled a LOT when we put thought into this.
But... If someone does spend that much, then we sure as shit are going to spend some bucks on you to make sure you FEEL and LOOK like the the fucking Royalty you are.
At the least we will send you a real Official Royal Scepter, a beautiful Royal Crown, a stunning Royal Cape, and an equally stunning large, personalized OFFICIAL one-of-a-kind wood wall plaque, a huge poster of your, Certificate, all Certifying your Royal status.
There are a lot of people who claim to be assholes, Certified Assholes, or Royal Assholes. But none have been Officially Certified by the Minister of Assholery, so, are they? Are they really?
And for 10 large, we will get you the good shit. The pictures are illustrations of what we are thinking.
Obviously, this is for the superior Assaholics who want to be recognized worldwide as an elite, superior, ROYAL ASSHOLE. (Or Asshole de Royale as we call it in France)
Think about that. Right there, that is some funny shit. "Why, yes, I am a ROYAL Asshole, and have the cape, scepter and crown to prove it."
(Or you just want the national and global attention brought by the national press release for someone spending 10 grand to be the first in your country, lol.)
Any way it goes, Royal is Royal for a Royal Asshole!
If you want one, message me, the Minister of Assholery here or directly on any social and we sure as shit will make it happen.
We got you!
*** Only 1 per nation unless bribed, of course.
