Assaholics Anonymous Member Benefits
Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’ve got a killer sense of humor and get the inside joke. We created this Membership to unlock your inner and outer Assholery, all in the name of making people laugh.
As an Official Founding Certified Member of Assaholics Anonymous, this makes you as special as you are funny. Now, you’ll finally earn the title, honor, and bragging rights of becoming a Certified Asshole.
What You Get:
1. Real Savings
- **10% Off Everything. Always.**
- **Always Free Shipping.**
- **First Dibs on the Limited-Edition Products at steep Member Only Discounts.**
- **Exclusive Discounts on products used for our $100 to $500 "Challenge Contests."**
- **Up to 75% Off on the Minister of Assholery's occasional "Flash Favor Savings."**
2. Your Certified Proof
- **Official Certified Asshole Certificate:** A stunning, full-color, 8x10 digital certificate, complete with the Gold Seal of the Minister of Assholery. Print it, frame it, and show it off.
- **Associate Membership Certificate:** Bestow this honor upon friends, family members, and coworkers. It’s perfect for sharing the laughs. (Note: Associate Members don’t receive the same perks as Certified Members, but the laughs are guaranteed.)
3. Other Ass-Some Benefits
- **Embrace Absurdity:** Share the humor and absurdity of life with your Certified Membership.
- **Cool AF:** Everyone will ask, "Where did you get that?"
- **Perfect Gift:** Whether it’s a gag, a token of love, or a prank, people will love you for it!
- **Exclusive Community:** Join like-minded individuals who appreciate your branded sense of humor.
- **Become a Senior Advisor:** Share your ideas with the Minister of Assholery and possibly become a community leader or trainer in the "Art of Assholery."
- **Win Big:** Participate in our semi-irregular social media "Challenge Contests" to win up to $1,300.
**Fame and Fortune Await:**
By becoming a Certified Member, you’ll unlock the ultimate chance at social media stardom. Show off your Certificate with pride and watch your social presence explode faster than a viral cat video!
If you crave a community that appreciates your unique brand of humor, look no further. Assaholics Anonymous is here to fill your life with laughter, friendships, and endless fun. Join us and make your world a funnier place!
