Assaholics Anonymous, started as a joke in June of 2023, has become a global reality!
So, who wants to be the first person in the world to buy one of these for lifelong global bragging rights as the FIRST TRULY CERTIFIED ROYAL ASSHOLE IN THE WORLD?
Want to show off that extra money you got? Great!
We created this for anybody out there who gets the joke, AND who has more money than brains, as some of you Assholes certainly do.
Royal Assholes will automatically become the highest level of Assholery and bad-assery, with powers spanning the globe! World Power baby, world power.
(To make this shit exclusive we are limiting Royal Assholes to 5 per nation, sorry Assholes.***)
That's why it is so friggin' expensive.
That, and there are people out there with a shitload of money who demand nothing but the best…so only fucking ROYALTY works for them. Then fucking ROYALTY, we will give them.
We may or may not have inhaled a LOT when we put thought into this. But we didn't really think a lot of people would buy one, so we haven't really put a lot of work into it.
But... If someone does spend that much, then we sure as shit are going to spend some bucks on you to make sure you FEEL and LOOK like the Royalty you are.
At the least we will send you an Official Royal Scepter, Royal Crown, Royal Cape, and a stunning large, personalized OFFICIAL one-of-a-kind plaque, poster and Certificate, all Certifying your Royal status. There are a lot of people who claim to be assholes, certified assholes, or royal assholes. But none have been Officially Certified by the Minister of Assholery, so, are they? Are they really?
And for 10 large, you will get the good shit. The pictures are illustrations of what we are thinking.
Obviously, this is for the superior Assaholics who want to be recognized worldwide as an elite, superior, ROYAL ASSHOLE. (Or Asshole de Royale as we call it in France)
Think about that. Right there, that is some funny shit. "Why, yes, I am a ROYAL Asshole, and have the cape and crown to prove it."
(Or just want the national press release for being the first in their country, lol.)
Any way it goes, Royal is Royal for a Royal Asshole!
If you want one, message the Minister of Assholery here or directly on any social and we sure as shit will figure out how to pay for it and make it happen.
*** Only 5 per nation unless bribed.
