{"product_id":"get-a-certified-official-membership-and-funny-loud-plastic-certified-asshole-card","title":"The Funny, Loud, Plastic Certified Asshole Card","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eAs seen in the TikTok video of people trying to steal it from me in Key West because it is so cool and rare. F'real!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eStraight from the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMinister of Assholery\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eof\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eAssaholics Anonymous,\u003c\/strong\u003e this is the \u003cstrong\u003eOFFICIAL\u003c\/strong\u003e Plastic Certified Asshole Card you can use for yourself or give as a gift. 🫏⛳️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eYou can humorously show the world that you, your friend, boss, co-worker, partner, or just a sworn enemy, is an Assaholic worthy of officially being called a \u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCard-Carrying Certified Asshole.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThis is a credit card sized plastic, durable, long lasting, very flashy card which can be \u003cstrong\u003ewhipped out anywhere and flashed\u003c\/strong\u003e as indisputable OFFICIAL Certified Proof of Assaholism. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eEVERY SINGLE PERSON WE HAVE EVER FLASHED THIS TO, LAUGHED.  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eSo, whether you proudly identify as an Assaholic or simply crave to bring laughter moments to others, now is the time to seize this unparalleled treasure. \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003eAdd this one-of-a-kind gem to your cart without hesitation, and let the world witness your new level of coolness. It'll be an adventure worth every laugh and wink. 🤩\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAnd of course per the Minister of Assholery's First Decree, you get our lightning-fast free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eGet yours now and be funny now! The world will be glad you did. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Assaholics Anonymous","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44769862549736,"sku":"RCV1+C","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0604\/2766\/5640\/files\/MembershipandCertifiedCard.png?v=1694209384","url":"https:\/\/assaholicsanonymous.org\/products\/get-a-certified-official-membership-and-funny-loud-plastic-certified-asshole-card","provider":"Assaholics Anonymous","version":"1.0","type":"link"}