{"product_id":"copy-certified-asshole-gold-seal-founders-certificate-limited-edition","title":"G-Rated Official \"Certified Jackhole\" Gold Seal Certificate","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"display: none;\" id=\"qstomizer-product-tag\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"display: none;\" id=\"qstomizer-noaddtocart-tag\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial Embossed Gold Seal Certified Jackhole Certificate of Assaholics Anonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome, my fellow Assaholics! As the Minister of Assholery of Assaholics Anonymous, I am thrilled to present to you our incredibly beautiful and highest quality \u003cstrong\u003eOFFICIAL Embossed Gold Seal Certificate - Jackhole\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eVersion.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSame pristine meticulously made personalized certificate\u003c\/strong\u003e as the original Certified Asshole Certificate, just made for \"Certified Jackholes.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eExact same shiny, high-quality creations made of Gold Foil Metallic Bordered Paper. The Official Gold Seal of the Minister of Assholery is expertly embossed on a gold metallic wafer, giving it an air of prestige. Sized at 8.5 x 11, it will look absolutely delightful displayed on your desk, shelf, wall, or even in your bathroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd per my First Decree, you get our lightning-fast free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut let's not forget the most important thing: this certificate will bring immense joy and many laughter moments. Trust me, the humor is irresistible. Get one now.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Assaholics Anonymous","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44805962531048,"sku":null,"price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0604\/2766\/5640\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_99dd6daf-4915-4f40-9d8e-123465913949.jpg?v=1778456116","url":"https:\/\/assaholicsanonymous.org\/products\/copy-certified-asshole-gold-seal-founders-certificate-limited-edition","provider":"Assaholics Anonymous","version":"1.0","type":"link"}